Write off- Language problems

[tamara_in_jakarta]

I moved to Indonesia about two and a half years ago. I'd been here before on short work assignments so knew a bit more about the country than most but for those of you who don't know much,here's a primer:

• The worlds 4th most populous nation, with 285+ million people
• The world's largest archipelagic nation, spread across over 17,500 islands, of which about 7,000 are inhabited.
• Indonesians speak 718 different regional langauge
• One commmon across the country Bahasa Indonesia, literally Indonesian language.
• Zero fucks given if you don't undestand any of these languages. If you don't speak the language, you better learn if you want things to go well.

I tried classes at work, but the teachers were weird and the material was irrelevant. I don't need to say "the pen is on the table", I need to say "we need to revise this guideline". Guideline by the way is Pedoman, which if you're a native English speaker makes you glitch a bit when you get an email with the subject PEDOMAN.

I glitch a lot.

The honorific used when addressing a woman of my age is Ibu. Mother. Sadly,this sounds just like hibou in French which means owl. People come to my office saying "Ibu ibu" and I think whoooo whoooo.

The verb to like is suka. This is bitch in Russian. You can imagine.

But I forged on, like many people, when in a new place with a new language when you're having a hard time making friends among the locals, you go online and ... Get out of the gutter dear reader- I am referring to DuoLingo.

We know apps eavesdrop on us, but Duolingo is especially creepy. Not because it stalks you across platforms like a bad Tinder date when you ignore it, but because of the lengths it goes to in order to deliver on the promise of a tailored langauge experience.

It started out innocently enough, with the usually slightly unhinged things we all get from Duo but are still marginally useful like

Kuching saya tidak suka gaun merah Anda. My cat does not like your red dress.
Mereka tinggi dan kaya. They are tall and rich.
Restoran ini kotor dan makanannya tidak enak. This restaurant is dirty and their food is not good.

But since I moved, the bulk of my communication with my Future Ex Husband (FEH) has been over whatsapp calls and that bird has been taking notes. The sentences I have been given have changed. A LOT.

Kamu tidak menjadi lebih tampan. You have not become more handsome.
Aku sedang menggali lubang di taman untukmu. I am digging a hole in the garden for you.
Aku sedih karena kamu bodoh. I am sad because you are stupid.

5 star review on the app store.

Comments

[thephantomq]

lmao this is absolutely hilarious of DuoLingo. I used it for like 3 seconds but when it started guilt tripping me about missing a day I couldn't do it lololol. But also mannn... my hat to you for learning the languages as best you can.

[tamara_in_jakarta]

that bird is a stalker.

[chasing_silver]

I laughed so hard at this. Oh, Duolingo! I also laughed at the Pedoman reference!

[tamara_in_jakarta]

And they always use all caps, so I have a whole guideline folder with titles like PEDOMAN2023.07.22, PEDOMANZOONOSIS, etc

[adoptedwriter]

Hilarious! I know of Spanish words that are innocent to native speakers but take on another meaning or make your mind go to silly or wrong places. LOL

[tamara_in_jakarta]

It only hits you for a beat but sometimes it's harder to recover than others.

[murielle]

I haven't seriously tried to learn a second language but I can easily imagine the difficulties you describe because of the way you write them. 😊

[fausts_dream]

This is kind of hysterical....I do want to tell some people I am digging a hole in the garden for you.

[tamara_in_jakarta]

No joke, 5 stars. They claim to offer a tailored language learning experience and they deliver.

[mollywheezy]

I laughed so hard at this! I haven't used Duolingo but have studied several languages and completely get the weirdness you've described. :)

[inkstainedfingertips]

This entry made me laugh out loud. I love the playful (yet serious) tone. It is kind of creepy that Duolingo is listening to you that closely. haha.

[roina_arwen]

718 regional languages?? The mind boggles.

Aku sedang menggali lubang di taman untukmu. I am digging a hole in the garden for you. - HA HA HA! Love it!

[static_abyss]

Duolingo, my beloved. 12/10 for the new suggestions.

[banana_galaxy]

I was able to understand/translate about half of the words in the first set of sentences because growing up in Australia meant Indonesian was the main non-English language I learned in school, and I still remember some of it (especially after living in Malaysia for as long as I did, and how similar the languages are). I didn't know kaya meant rich though... to me, kaya is coconut jam (I bought six jars of it on my last trip back to Malaysia).

I am very amused at the changes in sentences from DuoLingo though. Well done.

[pixiebelle]

This was interesting. I love languages but struggle to learn them (likely my entry this week) due to an audio processing disorder. I’d likely glitch a lot too.

[aggienaut]

oh my gosh I wish Duo would listen to MY conversations and customize my lessons to the unhinged things Iiiii regularly say ahahahaha. It doesn't seem to though I just get pretty mundane sentences about horses that collect teeth.

[halfshellvenus]

mundane sentences about horses that collect teeth.
!!! How is that mundane, and not totally creepy?

[kizzy]

OK, from what I read Bahasa Indonesian is supposed to be a relatively simple language to learn because it has no genders, no tenses, and everything is straightforward. The big thing (and please correct me if I'm wrong) is the soundalike words like kuching, kaching, etc. But aha, I had no idea about suka!

I tried doing Spanish with Duolingo awhile ago and I felt like I was back in school learning elementary French. Let's say I wasn't impressed.

[tamara_in_jakarta]

I'm not sure who is spreading this nonsense about Indonesian being easy. There are multiple levels of formality, including for the 1st person, b and p are interchangeable, but not, there are so many different ways to say the same thing that even when you're in a convo on a familiar topic you can get lost. It's infuriating.

[kizzy]

Yeah, I get that. I first ran across it in a "culture shock" book about Indonesia. The book was written specifically for those being transferred because of a job. It made Bahasa Indonesia sound like a simplified phonetic language because of "borrow words" from English, Dutch, and Portuguese. Of course the book didn't delve too deeply into the intricacies but it did suggest you finding a tutor once you were settled so you could learn the nuances.

[halfshellvenus]

I love the notes about "cross-language bleed." I don't come across it a LOT in the two languages I studied (German and Welsh), except for the "am" preposition that means on or toward in German and potentially on, around, for, about, to, towards, since, and because in Welsh. \o?

hibou in French which means owl. People come to my office saying "Ibu ibu" and I think whoooo whoooo.
Hahahahaha!

I hadn't heard of Duolingo eavesdropping, but then, I didn't use it for long. I tried to brush up on Welsh with it, and I knew enough that it didn't try to teach straightforward lessons but would instead quiz me on vocabulary I'd never learned. Not especially helpful. :O

I am digging a hole in the garden for you.
Wow. That one is especially ominous! Though clearly, DuoLingo is detecting the 'tone' of your current communications with Future Ex. Which makes it smarter than I expected, but also even creepier. o_O

[muchtooarrogant]

718 different dialects is just, wow! How do the native speakers even keep up?

Your last phrase made me chuckle because it reminded me of a favorite phrase from an author I like, "It's sad when people are stupid." Although, of course, yours was personalized. (grin)

Dan