Oubaitori

[tamara_in_jakarta]

After a long search, many referrals, cross checking with friends, colleagues and other doctors, we sat in the oncologist's office.  She's a native Singaporean, about 160cm (5ft) tall, around 50, and very chic.  She lays out the road ahead of us in Oxford English, detailing what the next year or more holds in store.  Still numb from the diagnosis, I'm coping by compartmentalizing and going into health emergency manager mode.  I've already started a binder full of copies of tests, notes, everything, backed up in PDF online, with a standardized file name system of date and subject, sorted into both a chron folder and copied into subject specific folders.  He's all business, taking this on like any treaty negotiation, looking for a win.  But there may not be one.

If you're going to have lymphome, Hodgkin's is the one to get, but the stats don't matter much when you're in the office.

Are we going to be ok?

"The escalated BEACOPP protocol is difficult, and more toxic, but highly effective." she says.

"Just like you." he says and winks at me.  We're going to be fine.

"Do you have any other questions?" she asks before we go back to the rental apartment that will be home base in Singapore during treatment.

"Um... What about sex?  If you can't get the chemicals on your skin because they can be corrosive, does it secrete in semen?"

She looks down, bites her lip, smiles a bit, laughs.  "So few people ask this. Yes, precautions are a good idea. There's not a lot of data."

I see her on the hospital campus one day when I'm taking a break from the arctic air conditioning of the chemo suite.

"How long have you been together?"

"About two years."

"Ah, lah, the real deal."

"What do you mean?"

"People come in, together for decades, this can tear them apart.  People together later, smarter, after you stop running against anyone but yourself. That choice sticks.  Smile, we fix your man."

I remember not long after we met and he asked if he was competing with my future ex husband. "No, you're competing with me."

"Let's go then!" and he winked.

Comments

[roina_arwen]

Hugs! A good attitude is very important to healing, and it looks like he has that.

Just FYI, if you haven’t yet done so, be sure to message/email Gary to make sure he knows you took back your bye.

[tamara_in_jakarta]

Thanks! Will do

[erulissedances]

Attitude can make the difference between success and failure. Nicely put together. (Amd why is it that hospitals always are COLD!??)

- Erulisse (one L)

[tamara_in_jakarta]

Everything indoors there was freezing. Glad we're past this stage and back "home" for less brutal stuff now.

[chasing_silver]

I loved the dialogue here. All the best <3

[tamara_in_jakarta]

Thanks!

[muchtooarrogant]

The dialogue was great in this, and as others have said, I love the positive attitude. All the best!

Dan

[tamara_in_jakarta]

Thank you!

[static_abyss]

Wishing you and your family all the best. Also, I thought the ending exchange between you and your partner was so sweet. Thank you for sharing that with us!

[tamara_in_jakarta]

Thank you!

[halfshellvenus]

I'm so sorry your current partner has cancer. That sounds like a tough road ahead (fierce chemo, if I'm reading this right).

HalfshellHusband had NON-Hodgkins lymphoma about 15 years ago, which also has a really good survival rate. The treatment was brutal (it was caught late, and the doctor wanted to give him the best chance to beat it), but it was worth it.

[banana_galaxy]

"No, you're competing with me."

That's a good line. I feel this.

All the best for getting through this together.